She seems surprised, almost comically so. Benedict can feel the humiliated blush creep up his neck, his cheeks growing pinker by the second and his ears aflame already. If he could will the Spirestone beneath their feet to open up and swallow him whole, he would.
Ninon is so worldly and wise, a beautiful woman who is intelligent and witty, sharp as the sword at his hip and with a tongue twice as deadly. He has never wanted to appear as some naive child to her, and now here he is, confessing something that, intellectually, he knows is not the end of the world, is not even really so shameful. Despite what's bandied about in the guard's barracks, he doubts every one of his peers is as well versed in pleasure as they claim. And yet, to admit himself ignorant is deeply embarrassing.
When he had been a monk, this whole issue wasn't even remotely relevant.
"You seem to forget what I am," he points out quietly, still not meeting her eyes even though she has stepped in closer. "Nobody has ever wanted...me."
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Date: 2018-12-10 06:31 am (UTC)Ninon is so worldly and wise, a beautiful woman who is intelligent and witty, sharp as the sword at his hip and with a tongue twice as deadly. He has never wanted to appear as some naive child to her, and now here he is, confessing something that, intellectually, he knows is not the end of the world, is not even really so shameful. Despite what's bandied about in the guard's barracks, he doubts every one of his peers is as well versed in pleasure as they claim. And yet, to admit himself ignorant is deeply embarrassing.
When he had been a monk, this whole issue wasn't even remotely relevant.
"You seem to forget what I am," he points out quietly, still not meeting her eyes even though she has stepped in closer. "Nobody has ever wanted...me."