Benedict spends the entire time he is standing guard outside her rooms warring with himself, going over the same old arguments he's had in his head countless times already. She is quite obviously a woman grown, so that, at least, is not an issue he has to worry about. And yet, she is a good ten years older than he, if not more, and with that undoubtedly comes some issues he has not yet considered. Will she expect things of him he cannot give her? She already knows that he is a virgin, that he is utterly ignorant of what to do except in the most theoretical of senses. She has said it doesn't bother her, but it does bother him, and what else is there to say about that?
If they are discovered, she will never escape the gossip that follows her. Every man she speaks to will be a potential lover in the eyes of the ton, regardless of who he is or how old he may be. She will be painted as some sort of insatiable hussy, a woman who is slave to her desires so much that she does not care if she beds even one of the warriorborn.
Benedict's personal reputation will be ruined, but at least he can take solace in the fact that all he will be doing is confirming people's worst suspicions about him; he is already assumed to be ruled by baser animal instincts, so the gossip-mongers should be thrilled by his lapse in judgement. He will be stripped of his position, potentially even stripped of his commission with the Guard itself — oh, Addison will undoubtedly be furious, that he took advantage of the kindness offered him in such a way — but at least he can always return to the Temple if he has to. The monks will despair of his poor judgement, but they will welcome him back into the fold nonetheless, of that he is moderately certain.
Still not having quite reached a firm decision, Benedict finds his feet taking him through the door into Ninon's rooms without conscious direction from his brain, and when he slips through the adjoining door into the library, his heart is beating as fast as a Cat's in his chest.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2018-12-10 09:17 pm (UTC)If they are discovered, she will never escape the gossip that follows her. Every man she speaks to will be a potential lover in the eyes of the ton, regardless of who he is or how old he may be. She will be painted as some sort of insatiable hussy, a woman who is slave to her desires so much that she does not care if she beds even one of the warriorborn.
Benedict's personal reputation will be ruined, but at least he can take solace in the fact that all he will be doing is confirming people's worst suspicions about him; he is already assumed to be ruled by baser animal instincts, so the gossip-mongers should be thrilled by his lapse in judgement. He will be stripped of his position, potentially even stripped of his commission with the Guard itself — oh, Addison will undoubtedly be furious, that he took advantage of the kindness offered him in such a way — but at least he can always return to the Temple if he has to. The monks will despair of his poor judgement, but they will welcome him back into the fold nonetheless, of that he is moderately certain.
Still not having quite reached a firm decision, Benedict finds his feet taking him through the door into Ninon's rooms without conscious direction from his brain, and when he slips through the adjoining door into the library, his heart is beating as fast as a Cat's in his chest.